Humans as we are, we don’t feel happy all the time. We go through cycles of emotions and even experiences that leave us feeling sad. But just because it is so, doesn’t mean that we can’t try and make ourselves as happy as we could. Dhomonique Murphy interviews someone who has a manual to happiness. She invites over international bestselling author and sought-after coach, Anil Gupta, to share that with us through his book, Immediate Happiness. What can we do to make ourselves happy? How do we snap back from being upset to that peaceful state? Anil answers these questions and more in this episode.
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The Manual To Immediate Happiness With Anil Gupta
I hope you are doing well. We have an unbelievable guest. Anil Gupta, how are you?
I’m incredible. Thank you for inviting me on your show. I’m very excited to be here and give little tidbits on how to improve the quality of their lives.
You are the king of happiness. That is who you are. You resonate and exude happiness and fulfillment. How did you get to this state?
It didn’t use to be this way. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I came from a place of being suicidal and I wasn’t seeking happiness. I wanted to get out of the pain because it was such a painful experience. When I got out of the pain, I looked behind myself and I thought, “Anil, you did it.” I asked myself, “How?” Once I found out how I did it, I could do it again and I systemized it. There is a system that people can use. Once they know the system, they have everything.
Anil sold out stages across the globe. He speaks everywhere. He’s an international bestselling author, a highly successful and sought-after coach. Your clientele, Anil, is top of the line here. We are thrilled to get a little bit of your time to share some of this information with our audience. I want to talk more about Immediate Happiness. You have a manual called Immediate Happiness. Tell us what we’ll find inside of this?
You’ll find there many tools and methodologies that you can immediately apply in your life, in every circumstance. Once you apply these tools, you’ll get immediate results. That’s what I was looking for. In 2008, I wanted to get rid of the pain immediately and I’ve worked out a way to do that. Using the manual, which we will never give, and when we were born, I certainly wasn’t and I wished I had because I looked back at my life and think, “Anil, why didn’t you do that?” I didn’t know. Now, people can know what to do and they know how to say, what to say, when to say and who to say it too. It is incredibly powerful.
This manual is for anybody, for someone who is younger, who can avoid certain circumstances in life by knowing how to deal with them when they are presented with the challenge and for people who may be struggling with something, whether it’s finances, lack of love, or whatever case may be.
My kids started at the age of 9 and 7 with communication skills. It’s not what you say, it’s how you said. Once you master it, everything changes. If you master your reactions, responses, upsets, and frustrations, everything changes.
How do we manage those reactions? Let’s say you’re driving and someone cuts you off. Naturally, most people get upset. How do we A) identify, “Dhomonique, you’re upset,” and B) snap back into our state of being mindful and peaceful? How do we do that?
It’s self-inquiry. Let’s take the motorist example. If someone cut in, the first question I ask myself is, “What happened?” What happened was he cut in. Can you see the way I’m thinking? I didn’t say, “He cut in front of me. He cheated me. He was being stupid.” What’s the next thought? What did I make it mean? I make it mean that he was trying to cheat me, hurt me, being stupid. That gives you the awareness and then you can ask yourself, “What is it going to cost him? How is this affecting him? Why is he in a hurry? Is it that important? Could I let this go? Why would I give him power over my life?”
Give someone power over your life. We are in control, even though a lot of times people say they are not. We have full control over how we choose to feel and that’s a very deep concept. Oftentimes, we’ll say, “He or she made me mad and so I’m mad.” No. They did something and you are using being mad as your way to cope with how the situation is. How do we go from reality and not playing victim into taking full responsibility and saying, “No, I feel this way because I’m choosing to feel this way?”
It starts before you leave the house. If you say to yourself, before you leave the house, “Today, no one will have power over me. I choose.” This man cuts in front of you. You’ve made a commitment in the morning, did you not? You have integrity, but you weren’t preplanned, you were ready for it. A lot of people are not ready for this. They don’t know what to do. If you’re ready, you don’t have to react. Let me give you another example.
When my son was very young, I would go and pick him up from school. I’d give him a hug and a kiss. I said, “What did you notice today?” He said, “I noticed you gave me a hug and a kiss. I noticed that not every parent comes and not every child wants to be seen by the parents.” I said, “That’s an amazing observation. You’re absolutely right. Let me tell you what to say. If anyone asks you why your dad hugs and kisses you, this is what you say, ‘My dad loves me.’” The kids are not prepared. Once you prepare yourself, you can be ready. Nothing is going to upset you. Nothing is going to unsettle you because you’ve already made that decision.
That can be overwhelming for people to think of. “How do I prepare and get my mind?” We talked about making that commitment. Would that be in the form of an affirmation that you tape on your bathroom mirror? What would you recommend?
A morning ritual would help. For example, I do something called Cantations. I say to myself, “I am strong, powerful, and bigger than this. Today’s the day. I’m going to make a difference. It’s not about me. It’s about the difference I make. I’m unshakeable. I’m on a mission to reach a billion people. Whose life am I going to be changing today? Who’s going to be the lucky ones. I’m ready.” Not every day, but whenever I feel like it because subconsciously I can do it because it’s ingrained within me. If people are starting off new, you can write it on a piece of paper, write it on your mirror. Within 3 or 4 days, you’ve got a gist of it and then you can reapply that during the day, whenever you’re not feeling certain, because what we like to have is certainty. You can create your own certainty. There’s nothing you can say to me that will upset me. I will not let you have power over me. You can call me whatever name you want.
How long did it take you to get to that point? A lot of our readers are saying, “I want to be there.” If they’re being honest with themselves, most people are not there yet. They can get there, but they’re not there yet.
It doesn’t take that long. In my case, it was 50 years. In the first 48 years of my life, I didn’t apply anything. People think that knowledge is power, but it’s not. Knowledge is not power unless you implement it. When you start implementing this manual, thoughts, ideas, that’s when you get the results and when you start getting the results, that’s when you get momentum. It doesn’t take long. Maybe 3 or 6 or 9 months for massive changes.
How do we get more from you? Where do we find this book, Immediate Happiness?
It’s on Amazon.com. It’s in 100 countries all over the world.
How do people work with you? If someone out there is reading, and I’m sure there are plenty who are going, “I would love the opportunity for a phone call or to see you in person,” how can someone connect with you directly?
One of my gifts is creating massive shifts in a person’s life so they can lead richer, fuller, happier lives. My new website is MeetAnil.com. Come to me if you have a big problem where you’re stuck and schedule an appointment with me at ChatWithAnil.com. We’ll have a chat and I’ll see how I can help you and give you clarity. That’s what people are looking for, clarity.
Is there anything else you want to add that I did not ask you?
There’s something that I did that completely changed my life. This one sentence is, “Be so amazing that you cannot be ignored. If you are ignored, it doesn’t matter because how you show up on this planet will be this magnificent soul.” I know a lot of people are reading out there. Another thing that’s important in life is this, “Don’t worry what other people think of you. It is none of your business. The decisions you make today will determine your destiny. Change your decisions today and your destiny changes.”
Those are powerful words to end on. Thank you for your time. We are so humbled and honored to feature.
I’m excited to be on the show.
Learn more about Anil and our other amazing world thought leaders at TheRightMethod.com. Until next time, see you back here.